Papercut and colored pencil art by Sheryl Aronson X 5

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Don't Wait Until...

I had an epiphany last week. I have been doing exactly what I tell my patients and readers not to do. I think  it has been a 'perfect storm' scenario that started it. We went to California for a week, across 3 time zones, which threw my internal clock off. I lost my job, daylight savings time started, and this headache returned.  For the past 5-6 weeks, I have had an almost constant headache, and greater fatigue than I usually have had. I have been able to continue to take care of most of my business, job hunting, writing this blog, etc, but my use of time has been less than efficient. I procrastinate, playing games on my phone, and looking things up on my computer. I am frustrated, unfocused. I am waiting until I feel better, until the fatigue goes away, until things get back to normal, and I can get on with my life.
WHAT??!!?? Wait a minute. This IS my life. This IS my normal (or a variant of it). If I am waiting to get back to that other normal, the one I used to have way back when, I am waiting in vain. I know this. I warn other people about this, and yet, I fell into it myself. Don't put off living your life, waiting until you feel better, or a particular event occurs. It may not occur, or even if it does, you may miss out on some wonderful opportunities while you were waiting. Live your life now, the best you can, with what you've got.
For the past 25 years, I have consistently had various types and levels of pain in various body parts. I describe it as being a member of the 'Pain of the Month' Club.I never know where I will hurt next, but when it shows up, it likes to stay for a month or two or ten. The fatigue I have only had for about ten years, at varying levels. The fact that this current pain is in my head compounds the cognitive problems that the fatigue causes, but it isn't anything new or unusual, just a variant.
Okay, so I realize that this is my life, no use waiting for it to get better (it might, or it might not, it might get worse). Now what? I need to get motivated, and to resist procrastinating. So easy to say, not so easy to do.
Having a routine and a schedule make the biggest difference. They both get me up and moving. One 'rule' I am instituting is using the morning time for me: exercise, grocery shopping, etc, and the afternoons for business: writing, job related pursuits, art, etc. I plan to not only have an ongoing to-do list, but pick out certain items from the list and what time I will do them. I will get up off of the couch more often, because sitting makes me sleepy, and sleepy plus fatigue makes me feel worse. I can set small goals for each day.
I will be am an active participant in my life. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some tasks to take care of.    

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