The Power of Words

I love my cat, and like many people, I talk and act as if she were my child. I am delighted when I say something to or about her, or mention her name, and she responds with 'Meow." My husband and I will often put words in her mouth, making assumptions about what she is thinking or saying. We can guess, based on her behavior, but there is no way of knowing, definitively, what is on her mind.
People, on the other hand, have words. Words are such an awesome gift. With them, we can let others know exactly what we want, need, think, feel, believe. Words form bridges between people. Along with this awesome gift comes awesome power.
Words build relationships, or tear them down. Words heal, or words harm. Words soothe, or words scare. Words bring comfort, or words cause discomfort. Words can be taken back, but scars remain. Words can be denied, but doubt remains. Words can be altered, but their consequences have already been set in motion.
Think about the awesome gift and the awesome power you have in your mouth and your mind. How do you want to use your words? What message do you want to convey? Before you put any words out into the world in speech or in writing, think about what effect they will have. Is that an effect you want to be known for?
Sometimes in pain, physical or emotional, we say things that could hurt others. Sometimes, we really need to let it out. Find ways to let it out that will not harm your relationships. Scream into a pillow, or write in a journal. But what if that isn't enough? If you have an understanding relationship with someone, try this: When you are both calm, talk about your need to vent when hurting. Set up a signal you can use, such as holding both fists up in the air, to let that person know it is the pain talking, and you do not mean what you are saying. Make sure they understand that you don't want answers or solutions, you only want them to listen.
Next time you need to vent, try it. Hold your fists up (or whatever your signal is) and let loose. Yell, cry, get it out, aiming your rant at the pain, not at the other person. Later, when you are calm, thank them for letting you let off steam to them. Talk about the experience, to make sure you are both okay. This can be draining for both parties.
Words are power. Use them to ask for what you need and want, to express your thoughts and feelings, and to build strong, healthy relationships. A lesson from my cat: Meow respectfully, yowl when you must, and purr whenever you can.
    

Words Can Hurt, or They Can Heal

The weekly Torah portion for the past week was Devarim,' words'.  It is the first few chapters of Deuteronomy.  Deuteronomy is basically a retelling of the Exodus story, with some variations from the story found in Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers.  The title 'words' intrigues me, there are so many ways to interpret it.  Moses is talking to the Israelites, telling the story from his perspective.

Words are so important.  Just think of how often a single word spoken or withheld changes a situation, or even a  relationship.  Think of the consequences of saying 'yes' when you mean 'no', or 'I don't care', when you really do.  Think of how 'please' and 'thank you' can make it more likely we will get the results we want.  Think of how great 'you did a good job' feels, and how much 'you'll never amount to anything' hurts.  Remember the old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"?  Not true.  Bones can heal, but harsh words just scar over.

I don't watch very much TV.  I especially don't watch any of the so called 'reality' shows or contest shows.  Everyone is so rude to everyone else.  Sarcasm and verbal jabs are becoming the norm, and I don't like it.  We choose how we interact with others.  We choose our tone of voice, and we choose our words.  Choose to treat others the way you would like to be treated.  Say to them the kinds of things you would like to hear:  'please', 'thank you', 'you look nice today', 'can I help you?'.   When was the last time you told the people in your life 'I love you'?

There is a Jewish saying: Repent one day before you die.  None of us knows when we will die, therefore, we should make sure our relationships are in order every day, just in case.