Pride versus Function

I have had alot of pain in my foot lately from plantar fasciitis and achilles tendinitis. All the walking I have to do at work was not helping it, especially since I try not to limp when I am around patients. I decided to take a week off from work to focus on resting, icing, stretching, and healing (pun intended). When I was a kid, my mom had a rule: If you are too sick to go to school, you are too sick to participate in after school activities. (This did make us kids think a bit about whether we really wanted to stay home on those days when we were only a little bit sick). Because of this upbringing, I feel kind of like I am playing hooky from school. If I am too sick to go to work, am I too sick to do other things?
I went to my Pilates class the other day, and was able to do almost all of the exercises. I kept my good, supportive shoes on to decrease stress on my foot (usually we do Pilates barefoot). Right before I went to the class, I went to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to get a temporary Handicap Placard to put in my car so I can park in the closer Handicap designated parking spaces. Doing these two activities back to back really got me thinking.
People who file for Social Security Disability sometimes get spied on, by private detectives hired to see if they are cheating the system. Those of us who live with chronic illness and/or pain know that for many of us there are good days when we can do more, and bad days when we can do less, and sometimes we will decide an activity is worth doing, even if we end up in bed for three days afterward. These detectives, and apparently Social Security don't get that. I have heard of people who were seen doing something that those 'in charge' thought was too strenuous for their classification, and they got into trouble  What would the reaction have been if I was in that situation, and they saw me going into a Pilates class? My difficulty is with walking, and Pilates does not involve walking, or for the most part, involve anything that would put a strain on my foot. The question is, would they recognize and acknowledge the distinction, or just assume that if I am well enough to go to a Pilates class, that I don't need the Handicap parking?
I recently posted that I bought a cane to try to take some of the pressure off of my foot when walking. The cane and Handicap placard are both firsts for me. I have never before used such visible symbols of disability.  It is a humbling experience for me.Usually, despite my pain and fatigue, I have been able to do just about anything I wanted: I hiked, I went to the gym regularly, I worked full, busy days (though not full time). Now,  when I walk, I take small careful steps, trying not to lift my heel very much.
Some people refuse to use a cane or other walking device, or to get a  Handicap Placard. They don't want to appear different,or draw attention to themselves. They are driven more by their pride than by their physical needs.Sometimes this results in unnecessary strain for their already straining body, other times, it can result in being unsafe. I say, do what it takes to continue to function and to remain independent. I may be moving differently, and with assistive devices, but I am moving. I am still independent because of these aids.

Pilates

In my Pilates (pronounced puh-LAH-tees) class yesterday, it occurred to me:  I have not yet written about Pilates!  Pilates was started in the early 20th century by Joseph Pilates in Germany.  It is an exercise system that especially works to strengthen the core (abdominal) muscles in the body.  When these muscles are strong, the rest of the body is more supported, and can function better. All movements are controlled and smooth, with emphasis on keeping the abdominal muscles pulled in the whole time.  Breathing is done in proscribed patterns, exhaling on exertion, and for some exercises, multiple breaths in, then multiple breaths out.  Though some of the exercises are difficult for me, I always feel looser and taller when class ends, and I have more energy.
In class yesterday, our instructor said, as she often does, "If it causes discomfort, don't do it."  My first thought was "Everything causes me discomfort."  I caught myself, because I am trying not to focus on negative thoughts.  So I reinterpreted what she said to mean "If it causes excessive discomfort, don't do it."  Even for a healthy body, some discomfort is acceptable, and muscles don't develop as much if you always keep them in their comfort zone.
For bodies like mine, which hurt no matter what, it is important to learn its signals. I know that with certain exercises I can push through the pain, and I will feel better afterward, others I need to back off.  Some days I push more than others, depending on how I feel that day.
One of the things I really like about this instructor is that for many of the exercises, she will give a variety of options of difficulty.  This allows each participant to do the exercise at a level appropriate to their own needs and abilities, and also gives us permission to back off if we need to.  Not that we really need the instructor's permission, but many people think they do. I sometimes start an exercise at a higher difficulty level, then switch to a lower one part way through the series, as my body requests.
There are a number of things that can be gleaned from my experiences with my Pilates classes.  First, it is important to know your body, what it can and can't do, when to push and when to back off.  Listen to your body's signals, and stay alert to them, they change often.  If something causes excessive discomfort, or you know you will have to pay too much for it later, don't do it. 
Second, all of us need exercise, look for classes or other opportunities that are right for you.  If you are lucky, you will find an instructor like mine, who gives options, and encourages everyone to work at their own level of comfort and ability.  If not, learn to adapt the moves yourself.  The basic rules for adapting something is: 1. Figure out what you are trying to do.  2. Identify why you can't do it the regular way (too fast, too intense, too long a time, etc.). 3. What can you change to eliminate or decrease the problem issue? (slow it down, less intense, shorter length of time, reposition so your body is more supported, etc.) 4. Decide which option to try, if that one doesn't work, try another).  For more on this topic, read my post, 'Adaptation 101'
Third, give yourself permission to do what you need to do, no matter what others around you are doing.  This goes for all areas of life, not just exercise. You don't need anyone else's permission to take care of yourself.  You live in your body- You are the only one who knows how it feels, and the  one who must look out for its needs.
I know there are many people with Fibromyalgia who go into a flair from the slightest extra exertion.  For you, exercise is important, but go very slowly, and increase at very small increments over a long time (your doctor or occupational/physical therapist can guide you on this).  I am lucky in that I don't have this problem.