This is the season for everyone to write about how to survive the holidays. I have some input on that topic as someone trying to survive the holidays while coping with pain, fatigue, etc. My main strategy is to spread things out. This involves two aspects: one is to delegate, ie, spread things out among several people. The way my family does holidays, the hostess decides on the menu, then gives out assignments. The other aspect of spreading things out is to start way ahead of time, and not do too much in any single day/spree.
For Thanksgiving last week, we had our gathering at our apartment on Saturday, because our son couldn't get home until Friday. My husband did the turkey, that is his area of expertise, cooking-wise. My sister brought the sweet potatoes and pies, my brother brought the salad. I made the cranberry relish and dressing (using gluten free bread). We had a simple appetizer of chips and salsa.
I was off work last week, so I did house cleaning tasks each day early in the week. Wednesday I toasted and broke up the bread for the dressing. Thursday I made the cranberry relish, so my husband and I could have some for our 'mini Thanksgiving feast'. Friday I made the dressing, then cooked it Saturday morning in a slow cooker.Most of my tasks were done before the day the family gathered, so I was able to relax and enjoy the company and the feast without too much fatigue or having to rush around.
I simplified the holiday in several ways. I served a no-fuss appetizer. The menu was elaborate enough to feel like a feast, without excess: we don't need three kinds of vegetables and two kinds of potatoes. I organized my time so that I had enough energy to enjoy the holiday.
My son and his girlfriend set the table, brought in chairs, carried in the food, etc. My brother and his girlfriend did alot of the table clearing and cleanup. I made sure that before everyone left, the table was shrunk back to its everyday size, the extra table leaves, pads and chairs were put away, and the table cloth was in the laundry room ready to be washed.
Thanksgiving is over here in the US, but many of us have holidays to celebrate in December as well. I have given some examples above of ways to simplify and spread out the work, here are some other ideas. You don't have to cook from scratch. There are some good cake mixes, prepared cookie dough, and ready to heat and serve frozen foods, etc. Even better, many grocery stores now have fresh cooked food, and many restaurants have menu items you can pick up and serve at home. Some grocery stores have delivery service, as do some restaurants. If you can afford it, hire someone to do the cooking, serving and cleaning up (before and after), or just part of those tasks. Buy presents online, many places will even wrap them, add a card, and deliver them to your recipients. Or, give money or store gift cards, along with a nice card.
Take care of yourself, and structure your holidays so that you enjoy them. What can you do to spread out your tasks and simplify?
BUTTERFLY BANNER
Papercut and colored pencil art by Sheryl Aronson X 5
Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Monday, April 25, 2011
Be Realistic
This past week was a holiday for many of us (Passover and Easter). If you celebrated, you likely either had people over, went to someone else's place, or both. I was thinking this morning about tips for hosting holiday (or any) gatherings, perhaps a bit late for this week, but keep it handy for the next round.
About 10 years ago I wrote down who was coming to our Passover Seder, what the menu was and who was bringing each item, then a long list of all the tasks that needed to be done, no matter how small. I crossed off each task as they were done. The genius of this piece of paper is that I keep it from year to year. This way, I don't have to reinvent the wheel. I have my list, make modifications as needed, and I am organized. Not only do I plan ahead, but I also do ahead. I look at all the tasks that have to be done, and start working on them several days in advance. I shopped a week in advance for most items, leaving just a few items to get later, such as the turkey. Some food can be made ahead and either frozen or refrigerated.
In my family, we have a tradition of the hostess planning the menu, then giving out the assignments. This way, no one is stuck doing all the cooking, but there will be a relatively organized meal. You can be specific about what you want, or leave it open, as 'a dessert', a starch', etc. One of my guests had the assignment of 'a vegetable'. She brought two, lightly marinated summer squash, and lightly marinated green beans. This was a nice surprise and a switch from the more usual broccoli or asparagus.
I have never been a perfectionist, except in my art. This serves me well in cleaning my home. I follow the philosophy of 'good enough'. I gather papers into piles, put away excess junk. We have someone who cleans our apartment and offices every two weeks, so I don't bother vacuuming or dusting. I don't have spare energy, and I am not going to waste what I have on doing more than needs to be done. I keep the place fairly clean, though not necessarily neat, and I have never had a guest refuse to eat my food or sit on my furniture.
My husband's understanding of household upkeep is mostly in the electronics realm. He doesn't see the need to straighten up his piles of papers, etc. I have four choices here. I can get angry and yell, rant, complain, etc., which will make both of us grouchy. I can explain to him that we need the apartment nice and clean for our company, to which he will point out the things that he does do, and that cleaning is not a priority for him (I know this from experience). If I really want it clean, I can do it all myself, or I can just accept that this is how things are, and that it is okay. I choose the last choice. I tend to go with the flow these days.
I never turn down offers of help, and can even ask for it when I need to. Who am I to begrudge another person of an opportunity to do a good deed?
Take naps when needed. If you have planned ahead, even the day of the event can be fairly relaxed. I like to take some down time an hour before people are scheduled to arrive. That way, I can get my break, but also do the last minute tasks. I don't shy away from taking naps or time outs at other people's homes, either. I tend to get overwhelmed from noise and commotion, and I will shut down if I don't get away from it for awhile.
I guess this can all be summed up by saying be realistic. Not just think realistically, but be realistic, too. If you are realistic about what you can reasonably do, you can find strategies that work for you to get needs met without overdoing it. It doesn't make sense to push yourself to make a perfect event for everyone else at the expense of your own health, or even your own enjoyment.
About 10 years ago I wrote down who was coming to our Passover Seder, what the menu was and who was bringing each item, then a long list of all the tasks that needed to be done, no matter how small. I crossed off each task as they were done. The genius of this piece of paper is that I keep it from year to year. This way, I don't have to reinvent the wheel. I have my list, make modifications as needed, and I am organized. Not only do I plan ahead, but I also do ahead. I look at all the tasks that have to be done, and start working on them several days in advance. I shopped a week in advance for most items, leaving just a few items to get later, such as the turkey. Some food can be made ahead and either frozen or refrigerated.
In my family, we have a tradition of the hostess planning the menu, then giving out the assignments. This way, no one is stuck doing all the cooking, but there will be a relatively organized meal. You can be specific about what you want, or leave it open, as 'a dessert', a starch', etc. One of my guests had the assignment of 'a vegetable'. She brought two, lightly marinated summer squash, and lightly marinated green beans. This was a nice surprise and a switch from the more usual broccoli or asparagus.
I have never been a perfectionist, except in my art. This serves me well in cleaning my home. I follow the philosophy of 'good enough'. I gather papers into piles, put away excess junk. We have someone who cleans our apartment and offices every two weeks, so I don't bother vacuuming or dusting. I don't have spare energy, and I am not going to waste what I have on doing more than needs to be done. I keep the place fairly clean, though not necessarily neat, and I have never had a guest refuse to eat my food or sit on my furniture.
My husband's understanding of household upkeep is mostly in the electronics realm. He doesn't see the need to straighten up his piles of papers, etc. I have four choices here. I can get angry and yell, rant, complain, etc., which will make both of us grouchy. I can explain to him that we need the apartment nice and clean for our company, to which he will point out the things that he does do, and that cleaning is not a priority for him (I know this from experience). If I really want it clean, I can do it all myself, or I can just accept that this is how things are, and that it is okay. I choose the last choice. I tend to go with the flow these days.
I never turn down offers of help, and can even ask for it when I need to. Who am I to begrudge another person of an opportunity to do a good deed?
Take naps when needed. If you have planned ahead, even the day of the event can be fairly relaxed. I like to take some down time an hour before people are scheduled to arrive. That way, I can get my break, but also do the last minute tasks. I don't shy away from taking naps or time outs at other people's homes, either. I tend to get overwhelmed from noise and commotion, and I will shut down if I don't get away from it for awhile.
I guess this can all be summed up by saying be realistic. Not just think realistically, but be realistic, too. If you are realistic about what you can reasonably do, you can find strategies that work for you to get needs met without overdoing it. It doesn't make sense to push yourself to make a perfect event for everyone else at the expense of your own health, or even your own enjoyment.
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